昨日の朝、病院から連絡があり両親が入院中の祖母に会いに行きました。
心臓の動きが鈍くなっているので、早く来てほしいとのこと。
結局のところ、両親が駆けつけて数分後に祖母は亡くなりました。
感染予防のため両親以外に立ち会うことは不可能でしたので、私は祖母の最期を看取ることは叶わず。
仕事を辞めて5年間、祖母と家で過ごす時間はたっぷりあったし、だんだん体力や身体機能が弱まっていく様子を感じていたので覚悟はしていました。
ここ数年、祖母はトイレに行くのも一苦労でしたし、食事中に喉を詰まらせてしまうこともしばしば。
夜中に大きな声で咳き込んで苦しそうで心配したし、それが続いて可哀そうだったり。
自宅で介護するというのは思っている以上に大変だと思っていました。
でも、いなくなってしまうと思うと、やっぱり悲しい。
8年前に祖父が亡くなった時みたいに、泣いてばかりの状態ではありませんが大事な家族が亡くなるのは辛いものです。
祖母は私が生まれてからずっと共働きの両親の代わりに面倒を見てくれていました。
そんなわけで、今の私があるのも祖母のおかげでもあります。
子供の頃は和食ばっかり作っていた祖母に文句言ってゴメン。
早く結婚しないと、とか口癖のように言うので鬱陶しいと思ったこともありましたが（笑）
家族で旅行したり、最後に一緒に過ごす時間が取れるくらい十分に健康で長生きしてくれてありがとう。
（英語）
I felt lonely because my grandmother passed away
Yesterday morning, the hospital called and her parents went to see her grandmother in the hospital.
Her heart is slowing down, so she wants me to come quickly.
As it turns out, her grandmother died minutes after her parents rushed to her.
To prevent her from getting infected, it was impossible for anyone other than her parents to be present, so I was unable to see her in her last moments.
In the five years since she quit her job, I had plenty of time to spend with her grandmother at her house, and I could feel her strength and physical function weakening, so I was prepared.
Over the last few years, her grandmother had a hard time going to the bathroom, and she often choked while eating.
She coughed loudly in the middle of the night, and I was worried about her, and I felt sorry for her.
I thought it would be harder than I thought to care for her at home.
But it still makes me sad to think that she’s gone.
Like when my grandfather passed away 8 years ago, I’m not crying all the time, but it’s hard to lose a loved one.
Ever since I was born, her grandmother has taken care of her in place of her parents, who both work.
That’s why I am who I am today thanks to her grandmother.
I’m sorry for complaining to her grandmother who made all her Japanese food when she was a child.
I thought it was annoying because she kept saying things like, “Don’t get married early” (laughs).
Thank you for staying healthy and long enough to travel and spend time together as a family one last time.
